Empowered Ease
Welcome to Empowered Ease, hosted by Jenn Ohlinger—a holistic coach,
& founder of The Moonflower Collective. Join us each week as we delve into the transformative stories of healers, health practitioners, and everyday women like you, challenging the patriarchal framework through empowerment and holistic healing. Through engaging storytelling, our podcast highlights each woman's unique journey toward embracing their feminine gifts, trusting their body, and prioritizing their mind, body, and soul. Discover how by empowering ourselves, we can pave the way for stronger relationships and a more balanced world. Women heal in community come find yours.
Empowered Ease
The Modern Nurse Movement: Emily Knife
Hi!! I would love to hear from you!
What happens when nurses break free from traditional roles and reimagine their professional identity? Emily Knife, founder of Modern Nurse Fest and Heartbeat RN, is revolutionizing how nurses view their careers and personal wellbeing.
During our candid conversation, Emily challenges the fundamental narratives of nursing shortages and burnout. With 6.8 million licensed nurses in the US but only 1.2 million vacancies, she argues the problem isn't a lack of nurses—it's a lack of nurses willing to work in hospitals. This insight exposes how healthcare systems have failed to adapt to changing expectations and needs.
Emily's response to this disconnect is Modern Nurse Fest, a groundbreaking event series traveling across the US and internationally. Unlike traditional conferences, this festival creates space for nurses to discuss topics often considered taboo—entrepreneurship, cannabis therapeutics, psychedelics, and financial empowerment. The festival also welcomes CNAs and student nurses, fostering a pipeline of future professionals who see beyond hospital walls.
Perhaps most powerful is Emily's framework for personal transformation. She describes burnout as a "Jenga tower" of accumulated trauma that eventually collapses, and offers practical strategies for rebuilding. Through somatic nursing practices, conscious perception shifts, and community building, she demonstrates how nurses can reclaim their joy and purpose.
"Dear burnout nurses, this is my love letter to you," Emily shares. "Grow a set of balls and take a moment to be with yourself. Ask yourself what do I want—not what your husband, partner, hospital, professor, or parents want—what do YOU want?" This radical self-inquiry forms the foundation of her approach to professional renewal.
Ready to discover what's possible beyond traditional nursing? Join us for an episode that might just transform how you view your nursing identity and future. Visit nursesfornurses.org to learn more about Modern Nurse Fest and the free Heartbeat RN community waiting to support your journey.
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Hello and welcome back to Empowered Ease, where each week, we highlight a remarkable woman who is changing their field with poise and purpose. I'm Jen Olinger, and today my guest is Emily Knife, a visionary leader in nursing, innovation and community building. Emily is the founder and driving force behind Modern Nurse Fest, an immersive event series with hubs across all 50 states and international gatherings in Europe, asia and beyond. Through these events, she helps nurses earn continuing education credits, build meaningful professional relationships, network and access a curated marketplace of premium scrubs, essential gear and workflow enhancing tools. She also has created Heartbeat RN, a membership platform that supports nurses through mental health resources, resilience training and entrepreneurship and financial empowerment courses, all designed to combat burnout and create sustainable careers. She's a sought-after speaker and the host of the Modern Nurse podcast. Emily travels the globe inspiring nurses to expand their impact and build passive income streams. Today, she's here to share practical strategies for protecting well-being, scaling your career and turning purpose into profit, and, as well, to celebrate the upcoming Modern Nurse Fest.
Speaker 1:So let's dig in. Welcome, emily. I'm so excited you're here. We were gabbing so much before I hit record. It was like, well, I better go for this. So how are you?
Speaker 2:Welcome. Yeah, thank you for having me. I'm so stoked to be here and, just yeah, feeling the energy of today. It's so good. Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes, I'm so excited to have you. I'm excited to talk about all the things that you're involved in. So I think the most exciting thing coming up really soon this month is your Modern Nurse Fest. So tell me a little bit about that, and I see that it's going to be touring and just all the exciting things about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Modern Nurse Fest is literally a festival celebration of nurses, for nurses within the community. So we're bringing the community in to show them all the cool things that nurses do, because a lot of the community just relies on nurses being in the hospital and going to the hospital and seeing nurses in the hospital setting or maybe in the primary care outpatient setting. But truly we don't really see nurses that are doing these beautiful businesses and making really good money doing things outside of traditional nursing. So we wanted to highlight that and there's not really any other conference that is currently doing that for all nurses, including CNAs and STNAs and nurses like. We want them to come in because that's how we keep retention but we also grow the nursing field right. We get those CNAs, the STNAs, we get those nurses' aides up into the ranks because they know what it's like and a lot of them want to be nurses. So we are so excited to hold this in Anchorage, Alaska.
Speaker 2:September 24th is our VIP dinner and 25th and 26th is our actual workshops. We have food trucks, we have the police coming with a car so many cool things, because it's also the community, so the community is going to be able to walk through the vendor exhibitor areas while the nurses are able to obtain about 20 CEs. In our workshop areas we have, like a meditation area, yoga, wellness. We're also going to be talking about psychedelics, cannabis, entrepreneurship, things that nurses typically are kind of tabooed for talking about or even shut down and talking and discussing about. So we really wanted to create this beautiful, safe and supported space that nurses can come and just learn and not feel like they're going to get repercussions for just talking about a plant.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we're excited to bring this to Anchorage, Alaska, and then we'll be traveling in the lower 48 is what the Alaskans call it. We'll be traveling to Florida, Texas, New England and California in 2026. And then 2027, we have four states picked out, but we're kind of rallying to see who's going to win for the states and then we'll be in London or either Sydney, Australia. So we're super excited to just blow this out of the water and just get the whole world of nurses like together and in community.
Speaker 1:Oh, how exciting. So I didn't realize it was open to like the general community as well and it sounds like it's kind of highlighting a lot of the non-traditional nursing routes that are growing nowadays that I think a lot of people have no idea even exist.
Speaker 2:Absolutely yeah. Yeah, we're just not. I was in academia for about 10 years. I'm still in academics but not academia, and it's very interesting how we pinhole nurses in learning phases to ultimately kind of be brainwashed into one way of thinking. And that's what I saw a lot at. I've worked at all levels, from community colleges to private schools, to tiny schools where it's like five students in a class, to Emory University where it's like 200 students in a lecture hall. So it's the same message and all nursing schools, honestly, are the same. And so that's why we're kind of pulling out Modern Nurse Fest to show nurses and even student nurses. All nurses are invited. And that's what I love. It's community, because nurses are community, literally. Like if you ask somebody like, hey, do you know a nurse, they're going to be like my mom was a nurse, yeah, sister's a nurse.
Speaker 2:My cousin brother is a nurse. The neighbor that lives down the street, she's a nurse. My esthetician is also a nurse, Like you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I can't remember what percent of the population we make up, but it's actually a super large one. A lot of people like graduate and don't even use it, but there's so many people that hold a nursing, or have held at some point a nursing license.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I think it's like 6.8 million. I just did a post about the nursing shortage and how we have about 1.2 million vacancies kind of coming up, but we have 6.8 million nurses that hold a license. So is there a shortage? You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:No, there's a shortage of nurses that want to work in the hospital. Exactly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1:I love this perspective too, because wow that you've been in like all angles, because I, like you know a lot of people talk about what they wish would be improved, about nursing school. Oh my gosh, there's so much perspective you have to. I could talk to you about a million things, like the fact that the NCLEX is about to is possibly transitioning to people being able to take it at home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's. That is so funny because there has been so many great social media posts on that from there's this one gentleman that I'm thinking of and he's literally like laying in his bed with his laptop and he has two guys. Well, it's himself, but two guys. One has the lab values and he's holding up a sign. He says lab values, and then the other one's like critical thinking and he's like all right, are you ready? Are you ready? He's like we're gonna take the NCLEX, and it's like it's so funny because that it's like how are you ready? He's like we're going to take the NCLEX and it's like it's so funny because that it's like how are you going to? Even Right, right, I mean I watched so many students during COVID take tests that my eyeball is like literally burned out of my skull because it's been eight hours on a computer just being like yeah watching students and you have to look at their eyes.
Speaker 2:I mean, there are so many things and I'm pretty sure some of them probably did use resources. But you know what, like in nursing school, we should teach a little bit of that resources, because we need to do that in the hospital. But the NCLEX, you should be really using resources, right.
Speaker 1:I know.
Speaker 2:Coming from all that memorization that you've done for the last four years two years, three years, whatever it's been that's you having to regurgitate that right? So, yeah, I mean I think they're trying their best to bring nurses in to make it more like comforting or safe or feeling supported. I think they're really doing starting to do a disservice to nursing in the field in general, from the NCLEX to the pay that I've been seeing for like new AI startups. They're like asking nurses to get paid like $25 an hour from people accepting a dollar to write in a book. I'm like, what are you guys doing? Like you are saying yes to low wages and so that amplifies through the masses of the human collective that it's okay to pay nurses $25 an hour or to pay them a dollar to write a book, like it's. It's kind of fucked up to be honest, it is it is.
Speaker 1:So what is your background? Is academia? I've heard a lot of people talking about honestly, and I don't know how true it is because you know, I went to nursing school like 12 years ago and took the NCLEX before it changed several times, so I have no idea. But people say that that nursing school is easier, that the NCLEX is easier, and are complaining about the education of new nurses nowadays too, which I do not find, and I personally work with new nurses one on one all the time and I do not see any difference in their education level. I actually see that what we put on them is much, much more than was put on me going straight into an ICU out of being a new grad. But I wonder what your perspective is after working in so many different settings. Do you think it's changed? Do you think people are asked to do less? What do you think about this? Is that real?
Speaker 1:It's like such a made up thing, like it's like the nursing shortage.
Speaker 2:Right. Yeah, the curriculum in nursing school like obviously hasn't really changed too much. I mean, they're like 10 years behind. So like, even if I wrote like a nursing or a clinical book, it takes like several years for get it approved and that shit's already old school, like why? So it's like nursing school is actually super behind and then we're asking these nurses to go into the ICU and handle like three to four patients. It just makes me want to and it's like I think we're putting way too much on them in a sense. It's a lot of fluff work. We're adding a lot of fluff work, but we're also not creating teamwork and we're not taking into account that this generation is also bombarded with so many things. They're really overstimulated.
Speaker 1:Oh for sure, their nervous systems are already like, and then they walk into an ICU, which makes us so much worse. Yeah, it's not funny at all, by the way. I'm just laughing because I have a sick sense of humor.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I think that all nurses well, most nurses probably have a pretty morbid like. I mean, it just gets us through the day, you know.
Speaker 2:For sure, for sure. Yeah, I mean I think working with you know I've worked in academia, academics, like all through my nursing career, either PRN, part-time and then full-time these last couple of years. But you know, within that I worked hospice, case management, home health, pediatric specialties such as like autism and the spectrum. I worked with a doctor that did osteomanipulation with the brain, which was really cool. So, that being said, going back to the nursing, all the nurses that I've worked with we all receive the same education we really do Like.
Speaker 2:When it comes down to it, it's like what do you do with that education and what do you go on to learn more of? You know what I mean. So I think it's not that we have put more on or less. I think nursing curriculum is still just the same as it was, like in 1980, unfortunately, you know, they've added a couple like cool simulations and mannequins to make it like AI and you know, but it's like nurses actually don't really spend much of their time with those mannequins. They might get like a couple hours, but it's a huge feature of nursing schools to bring nurses in to act like that. This education is so modernized but it's really not, because you have a lot of those people that are stuck in academia, that have limited mindsets and they're like this is the way it's always been done, so that's how we're going to do it.
Speaker 1:It's all upper health care that I see too. It's like they revisit the same four issues and not in any new way either. We talk about the same four things in the same way.
Speaker 2:I'm like yes like my head against the wall patient ratio. It's like what? Why? Like, let's do something about it instead, right?
Speaker 1:how about we try a new method? Because what you've been doing for years it's not working whatever. And even, and then why are people exiting and starting their own businesses?
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, and it's funny because I it's really funny that what you just said brought me back to when I worked for traditional situations. They've always found me somehow on the media side, right, and they're like oh, emily, you need to come into the office, we need to talk to you about your post I'm waiting for that day, by the way you know it's and and it always just came back to like but you guys aren't fixing it.
Speaker 2:So I'm trying to go out to the universe and figure out a way to fix it and you guys don't like that because this is the way it's always been done and you're comfortable people that are comfortable. Nothing's going to change and, honestly, that's. We break down nurses in nursing school. I was in the Air Force for four years, went through basic training and basic training to me is so similar to nursing school and it shouldn't be that way. Like those are nurses that are about to take care of people in their most vulnerable moments. You shouldn't be yelling and screaming and telling them that they're like, worthless and that they're not going to pass the class. Yes, here's my hand.
Speaker 1:Let me guide you. Yes, I mean I did not experience that, I got lucky. But I have seen that on the floor with like nursing students telling me how their preceptors are, so like the person that's watching them in the hospital I think that's called their preceptor but I'm like the things that they say to them. I'm like, oh my gosh, bullying is still so alive in some places. It's so sad that that's okay.
Speaker 1:I know, so yeah, so hopefully, you know it's a wake-up call and, as we were talking about before, like this generation, yes, yes, right Before the show, we were talking about our hope, all my, our hopefulness for this next generation's ability to change it. Cause they just take less shit, they have better boundaries. I feel like they also stay in it. They speak up more. I don't know. What else do you see about it that you're loving?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I love you know that they speak up more, like you were saying, and that they take no shit, but also that they don't totally identify like as a nurse per se, that they're not, they're calling like that whole manipulative, okay.
Speaker 1:so tell me, okay this I want to make this transition. Do you think what kind of because manipulation, kind of like setting up to be a martyr as a nurse happens throughout this like training? Do you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm getting at?
Speaker 2:Oh, I totally do. Yeah, I I had when I was an academic. I would buy the notes on nursing by Florence Nightingale for all of the students in my clinical and they would read that book and we would, we would read it together throughout their like eight or 12 weeks and we would notate and literally at the end they're like oh my God, florence Nightingale like literally sold her soul and so did all the other nurses that worked with her because they couldn't have a family, they couldn't date anybody. They literally like lived, work, sweated, sleep, shitted, nursing and it's like, but it's not 1890 anymore right like yes.
Speaker 1:I saw your was that your post about Tampa General putting in housing. Now somebody put that I was like the reference. I was like, oh my God. But yes, I hear you. I feel I also think there's something about people who go into nursing like or in that stay like, because there's plenty of people that don't stay, but the ones that say there's something in our past that was maybe a little already broken that made this easy to tolerate, or something we seek out. I say that all the time. I'm like it's because I, like some of the older nurses, have a hard time dealing with when they, where I work anyway, some of the younger nurses who are having emotional reactions to coming into some of this awful shit. We see, I'm like that's normal. They're supposed to react that way. There's something about us that is broken that makes it so, made this so easy for us Like.
Speaker 2:that's my perspective anyway, but yeah, yeah, absolutely yeah, I, you know, I see that a lot and that's why I created the field of somatic nursing. It's we don't look so much at the emotional, trauma-based informed care like we should. And it's like you said, a lot of time we all come in with diagnoses, labels, things from our past, and going into these situations, I like to call it trauma stacking and a jenga tower. You only can get so high until you start pulling those pieces out. And those pieces are like experiences in the hospital where you have four ICU patients, where you just had to take a dead baby down to the morgue, where you just had to tell a patient that her husband's going to pass right, like those types of things we don't prepare nurses for. And so somatic nursing encompasses that. Understanding our nervous system, understanding what we can envision, understanding what we put in our bodies, brains, what we see, feel, hear, smell, all start to create experiences within our body, and those experiences then come up when we experience harmful or traumatic experiences. So we're just like stacking a Jenga tower and then that Jenga tower eventually it's called burnout when it falls down. And then that's when you're like, oh shit, my pieces are everywhere and either you go check into a mental health hospital, or you go work in a florist for a little bit, or you take a three month break, right, those are the things, you know, that happen with nurses and it's a cycle, like we. We see it all the time. We see that cycle all the time and it's like when is it going to end?
Speaker 2:And, like you said, we see these nurses that have been in nursing for a really long time, like beyond 20 years that become numb and almost desensitized. And you have these new nurses coming in that are like just had a code and lost a patient and they're literally like need to go home. But then you have these older nurses that are like suck it up, buttercup, like get back on the floor, why are you fucking crying? It's like, oh my God, she should be crying, that's normal, like a patient just died in front of you and that it's the.
Speaker 2:It's also the generation. Right now, like my kids age the 15, the teens they're getting super desensitized. I mean to the point where kids are recording kids dying. I mean it's really like disheartening and it makes my heart hurt for that generation and for our new nurses coming in, because it's like in between the millennials. We're like here feeling all the feels and we're crying and shit, and then these new nurses are like all right, cool patient just died, peace, like. It's like what is happening? It's just like a really weird, like whole 180, I don't know, have you? Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean there's it's all over the board. I feel like there's, I feel like it's actually like the new nurses coming in, it's one or the other, and then they have issues communicating and they don't. They are totally misunderstanding each other, which is all another issue that I'm like. One has a strong personality and one has a softer side and they both are offending each other and I I'm like you guys just don't understand how each other communicate at all.
Speaker 2:Just hug it out, right exactly hug it out, people. They're probably both fighting for the same thing. Oh, they are they are.
Speaker 1:They just don't know how to communicate it. They're like so, so it's whatever it's, it's humans and communication in general like this. That pattern will never go away. But, um, so is that's what is this kind of? I love this topic, but because it leads me into kind of like your heartbeat, rn membership that's a support group for nurses, correct?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So our heartbeat RN community is free for all nurses and it's just like our fest includes CNAs, stnas, nurses aides, all nurses and it's kind of a hub. So we have entrepreneur stuff in there, we have nervous system regulation, we have tons of nurse coaches in there that have awesome services. We have podcast drops, like from other nurses that are on podcasts to share their experiences. So it's kind of like a shopping mall of awesome things that nurses are doing and it just allows you to be with other nurses that are doing things that you want to do, because obviously, when we ask people that aren't doing things that we want to do and we try to get that validation of our idea, dreams or hopes or visions, they're going to be like oh that's stupid, you're crazy. Oh yeah, what are you talking about? You don't have a doctorate, whatever, the whatever. So yeah.
Speaker 2:So the Heartbeat RN is literally just a cool area, space for nurses to thrive and just learn all the things. Like I have passive and affiliate income stuff in there. We have monthly meetings, coaching sessions and we also have the Sober Shift community in there, which is an accountability group put on by Nurse Fully, which is a nurse therapy kind of place where nurses can get therapy, because the people that are giving them therapy like know what they're going through, which is super cool, and so actually they're one of our sponsors for Modern Nurse Fest. So we have a couple other communities in there that nurses can also get involved in to either, like, come off of alcohol or change their habits. Like that's really what sober shift RN is about, because we're just a bunch of habits walking around.
Speaker 1:So yeah, yeah, and traditionally nurses are some of the most unhealthy. We have like really maladaptive coping, like ways of coping with all the stress we deal with, which I think is changing. Honestly, I think that is shifting In general. I think that's shifting which is really really exciting. You touched on so many good points there that I that I like really want to talk about that. I love. But what we've talked we've touched on like dance around and burnout a ton. But so before I ask you any other questions, I guess what are, what are your thoughts about burnout and what? What nurses need right now or advice you'd give people before we move past this, because I feel like a lot of things we've touched on. We're just like this is a huge issue for so many people right now and people are afraid to leave the hospital. You've got this great nurse fest going on with all these new modern possibilities. What do you want to tell all these burnout nurses who might be listening?
Speaker 2:Yeah, dear burnout nurses, this is my love letter to you. Oh, I love it Is to grow a set of balls and to really just take a moment to be with yourself, like without any distractions, and just sit there and ask yourself what do I want? What do I want Not, what does my husband, my partner, the hospital, my professor, my dad, my mom, whoever is asking all these things of you what do I want, like, what do I want to be, what do I want to do? And it's all possible. That is my love letter to you.
Speaker 2:That is all possible because you have to find people that are doing what you're already doing, what you want to do, what they're. Find people that are doing what you want to do, and be with those people and ask them questions and try to figure out, like, all the ways that they're doing. The thing is just an example of that. Like, you can do that too, but you have to absolutely, like 100%, believe that you can do that, because the hospital's gonna try to be like oh my gosh, we have a dollar raise for you, you should stay. Oh my gosh, we just increased the amount of pizza parties to five this month.
Speaker 2:So you should stay right. So there's gonna always be people like pulling you and being like no, we want you, we want you, we want you, but like, what do you want for yourself? And I think nurses, like we talked about, it's that martyrdom, that servant, it's not a servant leader, it's a servant, it's a slave to. The trade letter to you is to tap into yourself and we kind of talked about that before. That. We're all coming back to this, asking yourself, like, what do I want to do? And that's ultimately like going to lead you into what you want to do. So that's my love letter and my hope for you.
Speaker 2:And if you are going and heading into burnout so like you're gaining weight, you're smoking, you're drinking unconsciously, you're doing things that you're smoking, you're drinking unconsciously, you're doing things that you typically wouldn't be doing if you were in a joyful state those are all signs of burnout. Like, even before you hit burnout, like you drinking a lot, or you taking a lot of Xanax, or whatever your, whatever your ill, for your pill and the pill for the ill, whatever your numbing activity is, whatever it is like, that is your burnout sign. Like it it doesn't. Like it takes those happening over and over and then all of a sudden you're like, oh shit, I'm having a crisis. But it's like all along those things were happening. You just weren't aware because you were in like this stress state.
Speaker 2:And when we're in a stress state, we're in a masculine state and so for all the burned out nurses out there that are looking and trying to figure it out, tap into yourself, ask yourself, what do I want? And then notice, are you constantly like hustling and bustling and rushing? When our nervous system's in that state, we can expand, all we can do is implode and that's when that anxiety and depression comes in. So expand, notice what's out there. Go to Modern Nurse Fest, join Heartbeat RN, like come and see where all the joyful nurses are at that are doing things that we love, because everything's a choice and for so long I was not choosing that choice to get out of that spot, and it was a really hard choice to be like, fuck it, I'm leaving it, and it doesn't make me less of a nurse because I'm not putting in IDs anymore or shoving tubes in somebody's butt, whatever, which is a huge obstacle, I think, for a lot of people.
Speaker 1:They feel like they're not nursing, if they're not doing these physical skills anymore, which is so sad because it's honestly, you can support nursing in so many, you can support people in so many ways.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's you know, and I think that's what the the public sees us as, as these skill goers, like these skill doers. And it's like I haven't put an IV in for 10 years now and I don't, I'm good, like I don't wake up and be like, oh man, I'm so sad that I haven't put an IV in today, like that.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Like I have gloves in my kitchen and I put them on to cook chicken and I'm like, oh my God, I am a nurse. It's like I'm using a nursing skill and I take them off and I bundle them in a little bowl and I throw them in the trash and I'm like, thank God, I have that nursing skill, it's things like that. That. It's like why, why do you have? Because it's such a main part of nursing school is skill, skill, skill skills. And it's like that's all you really do is like skills check off, skills check off.
Speaker 2:And then it's like we get into nursing and that's not really how nursing is. It's not like you don't go into a patient's room and put an IV in Well, I mean, they do get customer service surveys but you don't go in and be like hey, mr Smith, just want to get some feedback about my IV insertion today on you. Can you go ahead and rank the IV insertion on a scale of zero to 10, 10 being the best zero. Please give me a good rating, because I know that was a good stick. Like that doesn't fucking happen.
Speaker 1:No, and why would it Right that's so silly?
Speaker 2:Funny I know.
Speaker 1:I love it. I love it. I love that you also touched about like telling people nurses to find their people, who are also in that mindset, because I think that is super difficult as well, especially if you want to leave bedside, like you have to find their people who are also in that mindset, because I think that is super difficult as well, especially if you want to leave bedside like you have to find. Like.
Speaker 1:For me, one of the reasons I keep doing this podcast is because I'm talking to other women who are entrepreneurs and in my life there just aren't a lot of people that are doing that. So I have to find a way to connect with women doing that, to share that mindset, because people around me look at me like I'm crazy, like I've lost my mind for doing this. So I have to connect with people who don't think I'm crazy or like, yeah, I get what you're doing and I think that's a big piece of too. Everyone around you, if you're trying to leave or thinking about leaving, if they're shutting you down, they're probably they're jealous, can't imagine themselves doing it, afraid for you know, like. So you have to find people that are already doing it. You find people that support you and get it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely yeah. Yeah, I've been. I've had a lot of great business mentors and coaches. You know, I dropped out of doctoral school at Vandy. I was going for my doctorate in nursing, education and leadership and I made a sale of like $555 while I was in class and I was like, oh, dropping out, dropping out, dropping out right now, because that program was going to cost like 100 grand, so it would have been like 300 grand and I mean it was just going to be crazy, you know, and I wouldn't have got that pay.
Speaker 2:Working in a traditional setting, especially with a doctor of education, it's not really highly respected in academia, unfortunately. Like, if you really want to go climb the ladder, go get a PhD, because they love that shit. They're like you're a PhD, yeah, come on in, right. But if you have like a DNP, they're like, yeah, come on in, you can teach, like the clinical part. But if you have an EDD, they're just like what the hell is that? And it's like what? It's a doctor of education. Like y'all need to be bringing those people in, because that's who changes the curriculum, not the PhDs, that's research-based DNPs. Yes, they do have awesome things that they can bring to the curriculum and the education piece. So, yeah, it's.
Speaker 2:It's crazy to you know you're the top five people that you hang out with. And so when I learned that I started to look at the top people that I was hanging out with and they were, you know, smoking and drinking a lot, they were really hard on themselves and they talked very negatively about themselves. They weren't making any more than a hundred grand a year. They drove like cars that would just always crumble on them, always break down on them. I mean they just didn't respect their spaces. You know, it's just like these things that we have to look at about the people that we hang out with, that the things we listen to, the things we watch on TV, social media, all imprint in our body, in our being, and that is a mirror image of who you are. Right, like you look at gangs that you know people go into gangs because they feel accepted and heard and seen. But that's a very low frequency, right, they're doing really horrible things.
Speaker 2:But you can also get into communities that are really high frequency, that are entrepreneurs or people that are doing and making millions of dollars or hundreds of thousands and are happy and living more of a slower life because millionaires don't work a job. They just don't. It's not. Yeah, you know that they take their money and that's something we don't learn in school is they take their money and they invest it and they let their money grow for them, let their money work for them, yeah, yeah, and that's so beautiful, like when women can actually step into more of like a chill flow. That's when you see women like glowing and shining and like really just emulating like joy and happiness. Not that we don't have like sadness and grief and shame, obviously we're human. But if we can step more into that joyful, like higher frequency state, more of that shit will come in, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so how do people do that? How do they make that shift? How do these nurses listening with like what's possible? How do they do that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it starts with a thought and it starts with understanding your thoughts and your habits throughout the day. So, like, just take maybe this you know day to day, or this week, or whatever you're going into, and, either on your phone or on like a little notebook, get yourself something and every time you notice it's going to be a very keen awareness. You notice talking bad about yourself or you're doing a habit that might not lead to joy, happiness or fulfillment. Write it down and write down what you can do instead. Even if you don't do it instead, maybe you're like man, I just want to go, I'm just going to go out with my friends and drink because I'm really stressed right now. Take a moment and be like okay, but why am I doing that? Am I doing it because I need to numb? Am I doing it because I need to push off something that I really do need to let process and flow? Am I doing it because I need to numb? Am I doing it because I need to push off something that I really do need to let process and flow? Maybe I just need a good cry, right? So it's learning about our habits and our behaviors and our mindset and that starts to create those new neural pathways.
Speaker 2:So maybe I tell myself like I'm not a good nurse, or I'm not a good mom, or I'm ugly, or you know, like, why do you keep doing these things? When I say those things to myself which I don't really say those things anymore I notice and I'm like okay, in this moment I am saying I'm ugly. Why Is it because I'm jealous of somebody that I just saw who's very beautiful? Is it because I'm insecure about how I look towards myself in the mirror? Right? So it's a lot of introspection and that comes from being in a non-stress state. You know, when we're at a 12-hour shift, those things that we say to ourself in our mind it goes so fast during that 12 hours so you might say like, oh, I shouldn't have done that with that patient, or why did I do that? Like it's the wise and the would have and the should have and the could have right. So catch yourself doing those things and flip the script. So, instead of being like I'm ugly, find things that are beautiful about you.
Speaker 1:Maybe stop the shame. It doesn't get you anywhere. So I still prevalent and new nurses to like. I work with new nurses like a one on one all the time and they are so guilty and so shameful. Even when they know it's not their fault, it's like the biggest thing. I'm always like let it go, like it's not about you. You got to find a way to shake that nurse guilt because it's not like it's not serving you anywhere. I love that you're saying that such it's really powerful to be able to shift out of that because then you clear up so much space for yourself, because you spend so much energy dogging on yourself. It really drags you down when your internal dialogue is like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and you know, and I even catch my friends, you know, when they're like oh, I'm, I'm such an idiot and I'm like what, Don't ever say that again. Like what, don't ever say that. Like why is that your default that you go to? Because you're just claiming you're an idiot, so an idiot, you shall become my friend. Yeah, what it is Like when you're like I'm dumb, I'm stupid, that you shall be, and so it is like that's the universe, god's source hears us. Like we are bigger than this body, we are spirit souls, like they're just in this, like flesh suit, like walking around, we can change our identity anytime, like this is a simulation, but this isn't even real right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well perception is reality, right. So if you can shift your perception, you shift your reality. I just read your article. I just so funny because I obviously because I knew you were coming on I've been like focusing more on your feed and stuff and I one of your articles sparked a really fun.
Speaker 1:I have a really good like best friend who, like, keeps me mentally on the level. We talk all the time about like just all kinds of conceptual stuff. But we were talking about your article, about what you're like I'm going to stop sharing my trauma with people and you're just talking about the difference between, like where that line is, between venting and when it becomes like a negative mindset. You keep yourself like cause her, you know her and I have had that conversation with each other back and forth before over the years over whether what we're saying is this are we at a positive place where we're doing this? Are we taking this in a negative place? Should we be talking about like, where does this line cross into gossiping and to just expressing yourself? And so he brought up a lot of really fun conversation for us.
Speaker 1:I thought it was such an interesting conversation because nurses do do that. We trauma bond all the time it brings us closer together. It does have some helpful benefits for bonding, but it's interesting because really, when we're talking about perception as reality, it's so true. So if we're constantly claiming trauma bonding, then we're staying in that state, so very interesting. What are your thoughts on all this? I love that article, by the way, just sparked so much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you. Yeah, you know, I I have. I've had a lot of awesome mental health diagnoses in my life and really it's all come down to like what state do you want to be in? And when I had a boss ass therapist, tell me, emily, like you get to choose your reality. And I was like, oh shit, are you serious right now? Like what a power that is.
Speaker 2:Understand that I get to choose, like right now, like how I get to show up, so like in this conversation, like right now I could be like, oh my God, I've had a really horrible life. I've suffered from chronic depression, anxiety. I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Like I can go down and sad and bleh, but what does that do? It just intensifies like all the symptomology that all those diagnoses amplify. So, like me talking about those diagnosis and what I know for myself, when I talk about those things that have happened in my past and all the trauma or whatever, I go back and I crawl back into that hole with that trauma and I'm like, hey, trauma, how's it going? Let's hang, we're besties. And it gets me really sad and depressed and I totally turned back into that person. I was back when I was experiencing all of that shit. So when I talk about it it doesn't make me feel good. So I'm like, why do I keep talking about it? Because it trauma bonds. But I want to break that, because we got to stop trauma bonding. We can be like, yes, we are here to take care of people and we can connect in that sense that we're trying to get the human conscious. Higher, the collective frequency higher, but taking it down.
Speaker 2:Hospitals are already a low frequency, with all the EM frequency higher, but taking it down. Hospitals are already a low frequency, with all the EMFs electric. Holy crap, all the sounds that are coming. Oh God, yeah, I mean that's not. It's not a healing place, like duh, and then nurses are in that for a lot of their hours of their life and so it just pulls them in. It's like it's like a vortex of really gross energy, honestly.
Speaker 2:And so when we are able to find joy and happiness and like see the colorfulness of life rather than like this gray area, then it changes our whole perspective and I'm like, yes, I've had trauma, but I no longer want to focus on that.
Speaker 2:I want to change the perception and perspective of how you can live a better life, because, to me, living in that state only perpetuated, like me having more suicidal ideations, me wanting to end my life a lot more than living in this state that I'm currently in, where I'm a little bit more delusional and like this isn't my reality and the reality I live inusional, and like this isn't my reality and the reality I live in is the visions that I have in my head and what I want for myself and those things are happening, like modern nurse fest was, yeah, and hot yoga, like I was. Like what is modern nurse? I don't even know what this is, but okay, you know what I mean. So it's, you know, more things come to you when you're in that higher frequency state. So, yeah, I mean we can talk about that all day.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I loved it, though. It was such a great thought though, because it's a really common thing nurses do. I mean, I find myself my thing is talking about health care being broken. You know, like I have to shift myself away from that because, like, what's it going to do? Who's going to fix it? Like there's alternative things, there's no point in dwelling, like whatever. So I love that, but I feel I could feel that, like when you say, like the low frequency, when you talk about it, you just feel stuck in it, you're not going anywhere, like it's not helpful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's, it's, yeah, it's not helpful. You know, I even think when you become more joyful and you're not constantly being like I'm sick and I'm unwell, then the people in your life that are used to that version of you won't get the new version of you, because they're so used to you complaining and being like you're so sick and they're validating your illness and being like oh, it's okay, you're depressed again, it's okay. And that's why we have repetitive patients, because patients in their sick mode, they're getting attention from a doctor, from a nurse, from a medical assistant in the facility that they're going to and they're like oh my God, I love my doctor, my doctor is so amazing because it's a codependent now relationship We've created oh my gosh, like the chronic illness like Codependent, which is a whole thing?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's, and I saw that with my my co-parents mom. Unfortunately she died of kidney cancer and at the end stages of her life. I was taking her a lot of her doctor's appointments and she loved it. She like loved going to the doctor because they paid attention to her, you know, and it was paid attention to her illness not her per se, but to her illness and her illness is what she identified with. So it's like what do you identify with? And what you identify with will only amplify who you are. So like, if I like my borderline personality disorder diagnosis, I could totally live in that and I could make really bad, impulsive decisions. I could really live a really risky life, like I've done in the past, but that doesn't help me get to where I want to go. That only just communicates that I'm going to be in that diagnosis and that's my identity now, just like nurses identify as a nurse and they can't be anything else, it's like why do we?
Speaker 2:I'm a mom. I'm going to just identify as a stay-at-home mom and that's all I'm going to do. I'm going to identify as a teacher, and that's all. It's like. Stop identifying and just like be you like. Why do you have all these? It's like makes me feel icky. It's like get rid of the labels. People like you are you like. Yeah, took away all that shit. Who would you?
Speaker 1:be right, and the most powerful people are. The most successful people, or at least the ones that I'm drawn to, are people that find a way to combine all the like. You know what I mean to like find a way to merge all the things that they are into one. You know like I mean To like find a way to merge all the things that they are into one. You know like maybe they were a nurse and then, like you know whatever else they did in their life. Like one girl I know she's like really into skateboarding and now she's like a nursing coach and she part of her thing is she's like skateboarder.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know Micah, yeah, I was like, but she's like all her things and that's what makes her awesome and I feel like that, like you too, you like, you are you and that's what makes you shine and so like, yeah, I love that. That's like the other end of it, right, the magical part of like letting that shit go and just being you Beautiful. So who do you look up to? Who are like your? Who inspires you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, yeah, I have a lot of a think. Probably the last five years I've really been stepping into like a millionaire mindset and getting mentors and people surrounding me that are already doing that. And so, like Alex and Lila Hormozy, who owns school and acquisition, like those two powerhouse, like they really inspire me and I follow a lot of their messaging and it's been very, very good in my business to take their messaging and use it because it's like they're already successful. So it's like, yeah, taste people that are successful. Kathleen Cameron she was a nurse out of Canada highly suggest all nurses listen to her. She's a manifestation coach. She's I think she's at 38 million right now, which is mind blowing all from her membership community. People really master the gift of vision, manifestation, dream work and and she's done it. So it's it's really inspiring. So I've been coached by her for a while and, like Dr Joe Dispenza is somebody that I really look up to.
Speaker 2:Tony Robbins, like these, these people that are so living in their authentic self, is who I gravitate to.
Speaker 2:You know, people that aren't wearing masks, aren't fake, they're like in it, in it to win it, and they're like so embodying, like who they are, and they're unapologetically like just being them, and I think that's so beautiful when you can be like not sorry about something, like you, just like I'm here, bitches, like you can take it or not, like right, like, and that's how I walk into every room, like if you're hated, like that just means you're like on the right path, really like to be honest.
Speaker 2:And that's how I walk into every room, like if you're hated, like that just means you're like on the right path, really like to be honest. And that's when I knew that I needed to get out of Emory. When I started getting a lot of hate, like I was like, oh my God, I'm really doing something and it's stirring people and it's like creating like questions in their own mind and they hate that because it makes them feel uncomfortable and I love getting people uncomfortable. So I think those people like Alex Hermosi, lila Kathleen Cameron, like they make people uncomfortable because they are in their true, authentic self.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you always will, I feel like when you're because that you know it just triggers something in people they're not ready to deal with and that's not your problem, that's theirs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just hope that I can like push them to take that leap or that step into understanding like you are, your, your reality, like it's just mirrored back to you, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I just the quote that I've been like really, really into this month it's funny is like authenticity. What is it? It says authenticity, no-transcript, don't have to put, they don't have to be ready, you know. So I love that. Yeah, don't ask how.
Speaker 2:just just let it come in Like it's, and it's hard for women to surrender. You know, I've thrown a lot of birthday parties for my kids and I remember like rushing around and being like, oh my God, I have to have these napkins. But in the end game nobody even knows that those napkins were a thing. So it's like you know what.
Speaker 1:I mean, oh my God, yes, yes, I do know, nobody cares about the fucking napkins, emily Right. You spent 20 minutes in the store trying to figure out which one would be the best. Nobody 20 minutes in the store trying to figure out which one would be the best and nobody even noticed, nobody even knows and nobody even knows that you like it's.
Speaker 2:It's so funny, like what we get so wrapped up in that we need to make perfect or that we need and, and really I always say just like, as long as it's like 60, good, push it out there. It doesn't have to. Nobody knows that it's not 100%. Yeah, 60% is probably 110%. To somebody seeing it, they're probably like, damn, that's good, that is right there. And you're like it was 60% that I put out. But perception. Perception is the key and you know, I can put out a really shitty post and it might go viral, who knows, just put it out there, even if it's at 60%. Like, just put it out there and see what happens and just surrender, like you have to put it out there and just walk away from it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, you get feedback on it regardless, right? So you learn whether it's successful or not, it's a learning experience, so I love that. So what's your go to like self care, self nurture, when things get rough for you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, there is man. I use so many skills. I did outpatient therapy for dialectical behavior therapy for about two years, where we met three hours a week for two years. It was like a part time job and what I learned was, when I'm in moments of fragility and vulnerability is I just ask myself, what do I need? And sometimes that question might answer like I need to go smoke a giant fat joint. But then I have to ask myself, emily, is that unconscious or conscious? So I take it a step further. Conscious or conscious? So I take it a step further.
Speaker 2:Like and if it's, if I'm like, yeah, actually I'm just trying to push off something, I'll go do movement instead. I'll like put a song on. Like, I have a couple of songs on right now. I have like repetitive songs where I just I play them like all day long, like continuously on repeat, and it like gets me in the dancing mode. Sound is so powerful, so powerful right, like, yes, I'm like I can like hear it right now. Like when I did, we do, I was like you know, we're like already it's, you know it's. It gets you out of that emotion and it brings you back to the present, because that that moment where you're feeling like out of sorts. It's only a 60 to 90 second emotion. It's the choice to stay in that emotion. So, like if I'm feeling anxious about maybe speaking on stage, I'll ask myself is this anxiety or is this excitement?
Speaker 1:yeah, because it's the same. It's the right. Your body's responding the same way.
Speaker 2:It's perception. So I'm like I'm going to choose that. I'm a badass speaker and I am so excited to go speak on stage right now. Am I still nervous? Sure, I might feel like I need to shit my pants, or my heart's racing out of my chest. Those are all normal things. But if I'm stepping into it rather than I'm nervous, and I'm stepping into it rather than I'm nervous and I'm stepping into it with excitement, it's gonna go a lot easier. It's gonna be a lot more fun than being like, oh my god, I'm so nervous, I'm gonna shoot myself on stage, like that. You know it's.
Speaker 2:It's a choice and it's a perception of the current moment. And so, yeah, my go-to is a movement, music, breathing. I just notice myself throughout the day too, especially if I'm getting like frustrated with my kids. They're teens, they're great, but there's moments where the communication's not working and I'm just getting so frustrated I have to be like okay, notice your breath, because your breath is gonna actually be very erratic and short and shallow when you're in those frustrated moments. So I'm like yeah let it go.
Speaker 2:They're teens, you're an adult, just let it fucking go. Now, not that I don't blow my top, because I used to be a yeller and very an angry person, but I still those. That angry person still sometimes pops out and I do yell every now and then, but it's like I have to. I have more of an awareness and I reel back in and I then apologize to my kids, like hey, I was having a moment, had nothing to do with you, it was my own internal circumstances that I was pushing out onto you and I'm sorry for that, right. So it's like I wouldn't have said that like 10 years ago to my kids. I'd have been like, why are you crying? Go sit, you know like it's like it's a whole change, a whole shift. I mean, I'm not that same person I was. So it's a really cool way to bring those modalities music, movement, vision, smell, like all the senses really bring us back to the present moment. So, yeah, tapping into those senses, powerful, powerful advice.
Speaker 1:I love that and I think there's like this perception that when you start to like heal all that stuff, that like, you reach this place where you're like, oh, life is thin and it's just not true. It's like you still face the same battles forever. It's like a new, a new way of dealing with them, a new way of looking at them, or maybe like the feeling changes a little bit, but we never, like really nobody ever gets to a place where they're like like that and everything's perfect and if someone's telling you that they're lying to you, they're still lying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and it's hard and it's hard transitioning like a new identity. Identity or into a new persona or who you want to be Like. You're going to have to shed and there's going to be a lot of ugly crying. There's going to be a lot of like can I do this? Should I do this? There's going to be people that are like you're not the same person that you were. Well, no shit, and that's a good thing.
Speaker 1:Because it's not serving them anymore too. That's yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah thing, because it's not serving them anymore too. That's their yeah. Yeah, it's not yeah, because people, you know, really only see us for what?
Speaker 1:we what we?
Speaker 2:can get in our role absolutely, and so if you change that role to from caregiver to empower, they're gonna be like you're not, we're not on a codependent relationship anymore and it's's like yeah, sorry, I had to cut you off, I had to cut myself off, right.
Speaker 1:So yeah, that's such a powerful shift too, because those people, sometimes you don't even know the energy they are sucking from you, and not all the time, because good people will realize that and they'll shift accordingly when they see it's you doing something positive for you. But if they don don't, that's such a good indicator that that person may be like an energy sucker in your life yeah, absolutely yeah, so good, I love that.
Speaker 1:Well, okay, so before we go where, if people are listening, because I know some not a lot of people don't watch these, but where could they find? Go and find, like, more information about, like, modern nurse fest, which is so cool, or because, cause, especially since you guys are gonna be doing this tour too, or Heartbeat RM, where can they find those free resources and how to learn more about Modern Nurse Fest?
Speaker 2:Yeah, right on, so yeah. So if you just Google Modern Nurse Fest, it will come up it's modernnursefestorg. But really it falls under our association that we've created for all nurses, not for just specialties or whatever the crap. We are like breaking it down for all nurses. So Nurses for Nurses Association. So nursesfornursesorg is literally where you can find Modern Nurse Fest, where you can find Heartbeat, where you can find the School of Modern Nursing, which has all these like courses in there. Yeah, modern nursing, which has all these like courses in there. Yeah. So I would check nurses for nurses dot org and then you can find all of the goodness that we are offering for nurses.
Speaker 1:Yes, do you want to leave us with anything before we go? I?
Speaker 2:would just say, like, just just love yourself a little bit more. Like today, just find a way to love yourself a little bit more than maybe you've been doing. And that might just be like telling yourself that you love yourself and that's really hard for a lot of us to do. But take a moment today and I want you to like look in the mirror and just be like I love you, and you can even say your name and just be like I love you. And it might be really hard to do at first, like you might not be able to look at yourself, but just try it. And if you're having a hard time looking at yourself, it just means that you need to really love yourself a lot more and just honor and trust yourself, because you have all the answers you really do. So I just like to leave everybody with that Like you have all the answers you really do. So I just like to leave everybody with that, Like you have all the answers.
Speaker 1:You just have to ask yourself what do you want? Oh, that's beautiful.
Speaker 2:I love that. Thank you.
