Empowered Ease
Welcome to Empowered Ease, hosted by Jenn Ohlinger—a holistic coach,
& founder of The Moonflower Collective. Join us each week as we delve into the transformative stories of healers, health practitioners, and everyday women like you, challenging the patriarchal framework through empowerment and holistic healing. Through engaging storytelling, our podcast highlights each woman's unique journey toward embracing their feminine gifts, trusting their body, and prioritizing their mind, body, and soul. Discover how by empowering ourselves, we can pave the way for stronger relationships and a more balanced world. Women heal in community come find yours.
Empowered Ease
Permission to Thrive: Hannah Stauber’s Journey from Oppression to Liberation
Hi!! I would love to hear from you!
What happens when a woman raised in an isolated religious community finds the courage to walk away from everything she's ever known? In this deeply moving conversation, Hannah Stauber shares her remarkable journey from being married at 14 as the seventh wife to a 42-year-old man, to becoming a family nurse practitioner, author, and women's advocate.
Hannah's story defies imagination – leaving her polygamous marriage at 34 with only an eighth-grade education, she earned her GED and completed multiple nursing degrees within nine years, overcoming dyslexia and ADHD along the way. But the most inspiring aspect isn't just what she accomplished, but how she did it.
With extraordinary grace, Hannah reveals the micro-habits that made her transformation possible. A five-minute daily meditation. The healing power of running as both movement and therapy. The gradual building of self-trust. These seemingly small practices created the foundation for monumental change in her life. As Hannah explains, "If I can go from a child bride with an eighth-grade education to become a family nurse practitioner, you can do hard things too."
Throughout our conversation, Hannah shares insights from her book "Give Yourself Permission: Overcoming Female Oppression" that will resonate with anyone who has ever felt trapped by circumstances or limited by others' expectations. Her perspective on unconditional self-acceptance offers a revolutionary approach to healing: "We're worthy of love just because we're human," she reminds us – a simple truth with profound implications.
Now specializing in functional medicine and pursuing additional certification as a psychiatric nurse practitioner, Hannah is developing a coaching program to help women reclaim their authentic voices. Her journey demonstrates that no matter how constrained our beginnings, we all possess the capacity for profound self-reinvention when we give ourselves permission to thrive.
Connect with Hannah at hannahstauber.com and discover how your own small, consistent actions might lead to extraordinary
email Hannah at Hstauber@hannahstauber.com. Mention Empowered Ease, and she will send you the meditation.
If you want to be on Hannah’s email list for upcoming details, scan this link: https://hannahstauber.com/give-yourself-permission
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Welcome to this week's episode of Empowered Ease, where we shine a light on inspiring women making meaningful impacts in the lives of others. Today, I'm thrilled to introduce a truly remarkable guest, hannah Stober, whose life journey exemplifies resilience, courage and transformation. Courage and transformation. Hannah Stober, formerly Hannah Bjorkman, is a powerful voice and advocate for women's empowerment. Having navigated an extraordinary path from being a child bride in a polygamous community to becoming a family nurse, practitioner, a speaker and an author. With an unwavering passion for empowering others, hannah has used her experiences to uplift and inspire women across the globe.
Speaker 1:In this episode, we'll delve into Hannah's incredible story of breaking free from the constraints of her past to pursue a future filled with new possibilities. Leaving a life with just an eighth grade education, she embarked on a journey of self-discovery and academic pursuit, earning her GED and progressing through an impressive series of nursing degrees within nine years. I know because I went to nursing school with Miss Hannah. So Hannah's career in medicine spans psychiatric hospitals, women's health, labor and delivery, and holistic family practice medicine. She specializes in areas such as hormones and functional medicine, which reflect on her commitment to holistic healing. Beyond her professional achievements, she is a passionate public speaker, a mentor and the author of the book Give Yourself Permission Overcoming Female Oppression, which this is my copy if you are watching the video.
Speaker 1:So join us this week as we explore how Hannah Stober harnesses her experiences, insights and unwavering determination to empower women to embrace their authenticity, joy and independence. Whether through her medical work, public speaking or everyday acts of empowerment, hannah's story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit. Get ready to be inspired by Hannah's journey and insights on making meaningful change in both personal and professional arenas. Sit back, relax and enjoy this fabulous interview on Empowered Ease. Welcome, hannah, to Empowered Ease. I'm so happy that you came on my podcast. How are you today?
Speaker 2:I'm doing happy that you came on my podcast. How are you today? I'm doing really well, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a pleasure. I'm really excited about it. Yeah, me too. Hannah and I went to like our undergrad actual nursing program together in Utah like I don't even know 10 years ago now. It's probably been 10 years now or close.
Speaker 2:Well, over 10 years ago actually. Yeah, it's been 10 years now, or close well over 10 years ago actually.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's been 10 years since we graduated, so or 11 yeah, it's been a while.
Speaker 1:We were not like close in nursing school but we like knew each other on a friendly basis. So this is so cool for me to have you back and see, like learn more about your story and all that you've done, because I knew like whiffs of your story. But so, for those of you that don't know, hannah has an incredible story and she wrote an amazing book, which, if you're seeing the video I'm holding up, but it's called Give Yourself Permission Overcoming Female Oppression, and so, yeah, tell me a little bit about the book and, yeah, so I wrote the book because I genuinely would love to connect to more women and empower them and help them feel like they can do really hard things.
Speaker 2:If I can go through this from a child bride with an eighth grade education and become a family nurse practitioner, you can do it too. That's the message of my book. When I left my ex-husband because I was a polygamist wife, I married him as the seventh wife. He was 42 at the age at the time and I was 14. The time and I was 14 and I left him in 2012. It was very difficult. When you left him, I was about 34. You could even call it a cult, the way that I I grew up and the religion that I was taught. It was very isolated, secretive, secluded. People didn't know about it and each family was very much independent. It was actually part of the LeBaron group back in the 70s. Oh wow, they had a hit list where they just killed a whole bunch of people. Oh, my gosh, kind of like an off. It was that line where they claimed their priesthood. But he he, tom Green was a friend of my dad's, and so I grew up knowing who he was.
Speaker 1:And you were part of the same group. Per se, yes, but everyone was independent, yeah yeah, because you guys, it sounds like you were living in a different part of the country, right, just?
Speaker 2:it's like there might be like summertime get-togethers where a bunch of independent polygamous families would join up and socialize for some activities and stuff like that so where I'm.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm in the midwest, I lived in utah for a while, but so a lot of my listeners are in the midwest and this like even okay, so they're. When you're listening to this, just not to interrupt you of hannah. But so what the group hannah was a part of is not what you would hear of this like everyday mormons. That's like a more christian modern day, like it's a very it's a different religion than what hannah and I grew up in. Like a fundamentalist, different like a sect that broke off of that correct and like it's more like they use that as an I don't want to put words in anyone's mouth, but it's different than when you hear of like lds or mormon, like hannah's religion. What is not as separate from that? Even though Utah sounds like that it's its own thing, right, its own version. That's more. How would you say that?
Speaker 2:before the Mormon group became Mormonism In order for the LDS church to, because originally they were living polygamy and it went underground so that they could become a state. And so that's where, like, there's all these different offshoots of fundamentalist groups, because each one of them think they're the one true and mighty, like the prophet is a different person who hears the word of God.
Speaker 1:I've read a lot of books about it but they're so different. And then I lived there, but it's so different than growing up in it and knowing, and there's so much to know From the LeBaron's, the All Red Group, the Kingston Group, just all different kinds of independent fundamentalists who are living that lifestyle and you can find YouTube videos of a lot of this.
Speaker 1:Like, if you're curious, I was like I'm so curious because it's probably blowing some people in the Midwest. Some of my listeners are probably like what? But yeah, so it's like hard to talk about because it's like so like I, you know there's so much involved in it and it's so sensitive and I don't know. Don't want to offend you in any way and I also want to like hear your version of it and be clear and I just think what you've made of it so beautiful, so yeah, thanks.
Speaker 1:So, okay, the book beautifully. You now, after going through nurse practitioner school, which, with an eighth grade education, got your GED, left this awful situation that you basically describe in the book. This like what is so inspiring. This which I am lacking personally. So I like wrote so many notes about how you like self-motivate I know you have a portion in here about it, but just um, showing up for yourself and having that personal drive and um, it's just a beautiful story of how you reconnect to you and got yourself. Your GED went to nine years, became like a fundamental nurse practitioner. Now you are a functional nurse practitioner and now you help other women by speaking, by sharing your story. And, yeah, how are you spreading this word? How are you, um, how are you helping other women these days?
Speaker 2:so I plan to launch a women's coaching program and I'll probably do it next fall because I have a few things that I'm taking care of in the meantime, like my psychiatric np program. I'm getting a certificate in that. I just think it will up level everything for the coaching program. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I love that. That's like my. So I started off in mental health and then went to nursing school. Now I'm like I've been in neuro the whole time but I read a lot of mental health books. I've totally thought about the psych FNP program because it's just like where my interest lies. I can't imagine like and your book is so like you know, beautifully written and easy to digest in such like positive way. Well, I love hearing that.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So it was not the easiest thing to write because I couldn't read in the third grade, I was dyslexic and I didn't really understand that because they kind of just didn't hold me back because I just worked two to three times harder than the next person and they just didn't want me to lose all hope and just stop trying. And then with the ADHD it was just, it was a challenge writing the book and I can't tell you how many times I redid things, redid things, re-edited it. Then you put it out there to like some beta readers who like read it and then give you feedback and that's pretty like hard to take some of that, that critical feedback, but it makes the book so much better.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, feedback's so hard, but so like, isn't that like this whole thing? I read this whole section, I think, like right before we got on, I was just like I had taken notes. I was reading and you were talking about like being honest with yourself, being able to accept your fears, and looking yourself in the mirror, and you said that feedback. I'm like that is the hardest part, isn't it always like that?
Speaker 2:Oh it is Holding up the mirror, and that's like the truth of it, like we can't truly move into our full potential until we're really honest with who we are and that includes our flaws and all and being able to live in a space where we unconditionally accept all of ourselves and sometimes it's a work in progress well, it's a life in progress, right like it's a process that we're always I love.
Speaker 1:Have you ever heard when people describe it kind of as a spiral, like you're always revisiting the same issues but there's just like a little, they have a little less bite or they're a little different this time?
Speaker 2:yeah, spiral that probably just continues to go up or down, whichever way you look at it. Yeah, yeah, very much so.
Speaker 1:It's beautiful.
Speaker 2:I love it, yeah.
Speaker 1:So through this book, you are starting a program which you will be launching later. And what does that program entail? How will you?
Speaker 2:I'm going to do like a 12 week program and kind of just break it up and at first, like, the first part of my book is my story and I don't know if you noticed when you started reading it. You probably could pick up on that voice of a 14 year old child, like you can hear it in how I speak, right, and that's that's the subject that I got so much feedback on, because it was 20 pages and I didn't really want to expand that part because it was hard. It was a lot of work to write your own story. Yeah, there was a lot of healing in that. So with the coaching program I kind of want to break the book up into 12 different sections, that's I've got the blueprint of how I wrote it to. To create that.
Speaker 2:There was a a program while I was still with my ex that I went through. It was kind of intensive, but it was a successful life management class and it kind of breaks some of those barriers in my thinking to open my mind and expand myself. But I just think there's so many women out there that could benefit from this and turning it into a 12 week program and we could meet through zoom. I might even do a live trial run. It like maybe holding out hope. We'll see.
Speaker 1:I love that. I love that I. What I love about your book is like to me, like I'm a huge like nurse advocate, but I feel like you know they always tell nurses to teach at like an eighth grade level. Do you know what I mean? And so for you to say that was like the age of your voice writing it, I don't know, there's something about like how you wrote this that I think would be very digestible for so many people out there.
Speaker 1:You know, and I don't know how to say that in another way, but I just feel like it's such an approachable way to talk about some very intense subjects, because I don't want to make light of this or like cheapen it by talking about it in this 45-minute segment. But you know that you've gone through some considerable things in your life, considerable trauma, and there's a lot of warnings in here. There's a lot of like, there's a lot of advice, there's a lot of like beautiful tips and stories and perspective and I love your focus on the tiny micro habits and then the broad perspective, like being able to draw your perspective out of where you can get trapped in your head, in your world, and then focusing on the itty bitty changes in your life Cause it's kind of two ends of the spectrum and two of the hardest things to do, but the things that make the most impact.
Speaker 2:Absolutely those little tiny micro habits that we adjust in such a simple way. Really they make such a magnificent difference in the great perspective as you're moving through life If you want to see true change. You know the little story of the tortoise and the hare and winning the race. You know those that go all out are going to, you know, crash. But the little tortoise just kept going a little bit by, a little bit and you've got to really sink that into your foundation of life. It's just keep going a little bit, keep chipping a little bit at a way at a time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I love that. For me. I find, like you know, the little things that I need to come back to are like the little ways that I stopped taking care of myself. When I get like caught up Cause, um, kind of my story is burnout, like extreme burnout from like intense nursing forever is kind of what brought me back to the mental health path you know, and what it really was like was like a shift in the time in my life. I know we talked about this before we got on a little. Hannah and I were joking a little bit about perimenopause and she now has gotten some continued education in hormone therapy, which I can't wait to pick your brain about.
Speaker 1:But how this time in your life can also bring up some unresolved things from when you were younger, so a lot of dealt with childhood trauma that I don't even think I had like acknowledged. You know walls I put up that I didn't know were even there until I tried to take them down. You know things that are scary came up for me and I kind of crashed and my way back was, you know, reconnecting with myself, um, and I noticed that, you know, the small things that I need to focus on are and are the first things that I let go, or maybe some small like self-care things that are like my triggers to know, like, hey, things may be getting a little out of control here, um, so I think that's great advice on all levels. So, um, what are some of the things that you do? Cause, like um, your book has so much like great functional and I know you mentioned running was one of your big things back in the day.
Speaker 1:That helps you find clarity and there's so much to be said about, like you know, walking and running for your mental health. But what are some of the other like tips or advice or things for people to be able to? You know we talk about these concepts. You wrote them so beautifully in here that they're so easy to digest, but when it comes to actually putting them into practice, you know there's there's barriers there and it's hard, you know. So what are some tips or some things you advice you would tell women who feel like that sounds great, but that's just so overwhelming right now to even think about um.
Speaker 1:Well, beginning with where you want to end up, um that's a great advice, like, because I think some people don't even know at this point.
Speaker 2:It's like a hamster wheel, we're all just like yeah, I mean, you really got to be able to think about where, where you're going and what you want and then bring that into the current present tense of now and little things, and you just start small, like if you want to work out, you know, maybe you just start by building a small habit, whether it's just taking a walk around the block every day, and then, once you start enjoying that, you could expand that into more. You know, when everybody's at different levels, sometimes people are an all or nothing. We just got to make sure that you're not going to crash and burn because you did all or nothing, but just establishing those foundations that are going to get you where you want. So let's say, for example, you wanted to lose weight. You really need to like connect within yourself.
Speaker 2:What would your life feel like If that was the version of you that was in the present tense? So, instead of focusing on, oh, someday I'll be there, no, bring it now, bring it right now. What does it feel like and when? I would do a five minute meditation and really connect at the end of the meditation to my inner joy, and you know what that feels like for me. See and feel yourself how you truly want to be, and that just little, tiny bit of connection.
Speaker 2:It's like a paradigm shift in your life. It. Once you really connect with that, really feel it, it's like things just start changing for you and as you step into that, you start to you know if, if I was the perfect version of myself, what things would I be doing, what habits would I have, and just you know. Write a few down and then you got to really connect with it. Because if it's, if it's something that you truly value, you're going to connect with it. But if it's just like a wish, you're never going to get there. You kind of really got to dig deep is this something that you really align with, connect with and value? And then you just put yourself into that space and continually do just a little bit every day and expand.
Speaker 1:I love that. It's beautiful advice, beautiful advice. So I love that. I love you also mentioned in that process and you touched on this a bit here is like the importance of in that like you're talking about small baby steps but also in avoiding shame and self-blame in that process. So what, I guess, what role would or how self sabotaging would shame, or how can you avoid shame? What are some tips for that? Because I know like with a lot of my clients I would say like 50% of them their inner critic is like a lot of what we spend a time talking about, cause some people have like a very, very overactive inner critic where they're constantly tearing, like self-sabotaging, tearing themselves down. So what advice do you have for avoiding shame and self-blame?
Speaker 2:So that, and there is so many different variations of that, and I think that that's probably the core of a lot of our mental health issues. But what enabled me to change and go from the space of being a polygamist wife that felt like nothing but a robot. I may as well have just been dead as to continue my life in that pattern, but look at yourself. I'm going to use my glasses here as an example, rose colored glasses, and let's just put those on and take a good look at ourself, unconditionally, through a new set of eyes. For example, for me to leave, I have children and I never wanted them to feel the pain that I was hiding from them, from ever even seeing and would I want them to repeat into the same footsteps of the life I was walking. And I had to.
Speaker 2:In order for me to make that change, I had to feel that separation and if I put myself in like my child's life, because I, I and they walked the life I walked, I would know what they feel and I would never want that for them. But I had to have like that unconditional love and acceptance because in my, in my world, if I left, if I got divorced, it would be kind of the end of things, like God would never love me if I did that. You know that, that shaming, that guilt, but I it's almost like I had to look at myself unconditionally through some rose colored glasses with pure love, like would God still love me if I left? And just this overwhelming feeling of yes, he would, that space of being able to let go of that shame and that guilt.
Speaker 2:Like we're all born into this world and if you look at your child that you're holding, they're worthy of love just because they exist. It's not based on our shame and what we're not measuring up to. We're worthy of love just because we're human. We're worthy of love just because we're human. And when we take it back like that it's a little easier to separate the judgment and the shame or the self-hatred. And I mean I even like would put like a right on my mirror I am worthy, I am lovable and feel it like connect with that for just like 20 seconds every day.
Speaker 1:And it can be life changing. I love that. I love that you're mentioning this like affirmations and meditation as ways to like really connect with yourself, cause that's the message I heard in your book and the message I'm hearing you saying is like we really have to look inward and connect with who we are and learn to trust that like inner voice and allow ourselves to listen to what we're trying to say and trust that a little bit. So I think that's really hard for a lot of people. You know we get so disconnected, so caught up in trying to do and be and say all these things. So it's such a beautiful message I love so.
Speaker 1:In your book you have, I really feel like you touch on so many, so many things here. You talk a lot about like warning signs, about like female oppression, just saying you could break that down into so many angles. Do you know what I mean? So many specific things. There's so much involved in your story and what you've gone through and you're so knowledgeable about it Just talking before this, just about like the history of everything that you're really like what we talked about at the beginning with like the LDS and the Mormon culture, and you know the history of women and you know the patriarchy and all that stuff and there's so much of this in your book touched on.
Speaker 1:So what, what led you to focus on this, this specific avenue of working with women to to connect to themselves? What, what you know cause you could be speaking, you know, through law enforcement agencies and taking an advocacy angle that way you know, because you could be speaking you know, through law enforcement agencies and taking an advocacy angle that way you know what led you to take the nursing route, to take the nurture out, to turn around and like, try to care and comfort, like you know this soft, you know route. What, what, what led you down this path?
Speaker 2:Yeah, the soft route.
Speaker 1:I do. It just seems soft compared to some of the other ways you could go about it. I read your book and I feel anger and I feel you, just even from knowing you. I said this before. But like you have this grace about you the softness. Even listening to you, I feel more comforted and soft, like like more grounded, and that's the energy I got from you like 10 years ago. So it's not something, something that you've cultivated since then. Maybe you have cultivated it even more, even reading your book. That's the impression I get from you. Personally, I'm a fiery person. I'm like rage oh my gosh, I'm so angry. Even the way we're talking about this, your program, I feel this grace, this softness. I just want to know what your secret is to it. Share with us.
Speaker 2:I love it. What led you to that and define it like that? Because, like I love astrology too yeah, me too. Just stay so grounded like I'm a Taurus, oh my gosh. So I really feel like I have had to learn how to ground myself so deeply and so strongly that if a tornado hit, I would still be firmly planted to the ground. Oh, I feel that from you.
Speaker 1:I feel that like I kind of want to get a little closer to you because I'm a little airy person, so I love grounded people.
Speaker 2:I feel anchored, but then at the same time I have a lot of fire in my astrology as well, like I have like a stellium in the in the Aries aspect, like my moon is in Aries in like the seventh house and stuff and I just find it fascinating and fun. But it's like kind of just given me like a power boost of this drive to move forward.
Speaker 1:Oh so the steady like motivation is your fire. Yes, I love that. That's great. That's a great fire to have.
Speaker 2:I mean it's there. But then I still got to check myself back in and make sure I still got my feet firmly planted on the ground. I love that.
Speaker 1:I love that. So yeah, but what led you to nursing and caring for people? Because it's intense.
Speaker 2:I don't know. It just resonates with who I am.
Speaker 1:Yeah, softer, feminine, nurturing side yeah, I get that from you Like even yeah, even as a kid, when you talked about yourself when you were younger, I think you talked a lot about that, like how you were kind of drawn to some of that about yourself when you were younger. I think you talked a lot about that, like how you were kind of drawn to some of that. Is this so weird? To talk to people who have read about your childhood and talk to you like they know it, like that, like, oh, I read in your book about when you were a kid. Is that weird?
Speaker 1:I don't know if I'd say weird, like I one of the NPs that I work with one day she said something to me and I looked at her like how do you know that? She says, oh, I'm reading your book. Like oh, yeah, I forgot I put this on public display. I am, I work in a hospital and like and manage a unit. And sometimes somebody will say something to me and I'm like I just forget when I'm there that I have a podcast like that people, that there's actually people there that listen to it. Sometimes I'm like oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Then I get a little embarrassed because I'm like, oh yeah, I love that. That's awesome, it's funny when we're in our roles. So in your daytime life, do you have like a functional?
Speaker 2:medicine practice that you're working at still. So I worked in functional medicine for a couple of years and then I stepped into orthopedics, mostly with like auto accidents and stuff, but we're adding like a cash pay portion side to that. That's um based on hormones, hormones. So that's really exciting and coming up soon. Yeah, um, but privately practicing. I haven't like fully launched all of that. Okay, I plan to soon like exciting, like maybe next fall is when I want to fully launch into that.
Speaker 1:Oh, combine all these skills and your experience, like hormone knowledge, psych, that's like how beautiful.
Speaker 2:And then neuroscience of it, like I'm currently like working in a lot of auto accidents, so the concussion world is actively there and the treatments that we're helping people with and I love it, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Dude I so I've been neuro, you know, from psych to now ICU, but I've been neuro specialty for like the last five years. But I had a woman on my show she's one of my first episodes Crystal Hurley, and she she's a TBI, I don't know what to call her. She had a TBI, a traumatic TBI, and lost her speech and she got it back through art therapy and now she does teaches art therapy, which is really cool. But I love stuff like that because the brain is like the, the last frontier. It's the thing we really like of the body know the least about. We're learning more and more. Um, that's so cool how it can repair itself. You know how we can reprogram it. It's more like it's we're. More our sleep times are like more spongy times where we can like have more change like. There's just so much interesting things about the brain.
Speaker 2:The neuroplasticity of the brain is so fascinating it is. I did include a little bit of research on the meditation and how we can. The mri images like they're showing the growth and the neuroplasticity like that people have through meditation.
Speaker 1:It's so cool. Yeah, I love it, I love it. I know that like not at all brain types can use that, but for me, meditation like has been one of the biggest things in my life. It's funny because actually when we went through nursing school 10 years ago, it was like when I was practicing the most. I was meditating like twice a day and I was like and I was like so zen down. I think it's like actually how I got through like all the things I did at that time and then I kind of like became a nurse, got farther away from it, burnt out and then reconnected. So now I'm like big meditation, breath work, you know, like calm your nervous system, calm your vagus nerve, all that fun stuff. So, yeah, like all came full circle and I love that. Like also this kind of came full circle. I'm back here and these are like the thing I'm learning, the things that have helped you along the way too. So it's just beautiful.
Speaker 2:That's awesome yeah.
Speaker 1:So if people want to find your book, I know I'm going to put, obviously, links in the show notes. Oh, and I know if you wrote a meditation speaking of meditation, I know you were going to gift it, so we'll put a link to that in the show notes to see if you can download Hannah's meditation. Do you want to tell us a little bit about your meditation?
Speaker 2:Yeah, on my meditation and it's like a little micro habit that you can add into things it just came in a point in my life where I was super overwhelmed by life itself. I was working as a full time hospice nurse as well as in nurse practitioner school and I just was so overwhelmed and I had a blended family and my grandmother had just passed away and I didn't even know that she was on hospice and it just kind of was like a kind of a breaking point and every time I thought about my grandmother I just had this feeling let go, let go. And that's when I started to meditate and I just did like five minutes I insight timer I love insight timer and my little creative brain would just kind of take me on this journey.
Speaker 2:But if we also tap it into, like EMDR and like my previous running history, like I think I put myself into like my own meditative trance through running, yeah, left right body motion and I was training for a marathon and all of those thoughts I would just kind of work through as I was running and so with the meditation, like I just started, like tapping my fingers as I do the meditation and I think it just kind of helps with that neuroplasticity of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I would just have my own little visual of how I let go, like falling back into like a pool of water and feeling the water just carry away all of those worries.
Speaker 2:Like, in every time you let go of one of those worries, you just like okay, I'm going to surrender the worry I have about this daughter, I'm going to surrender the stress I have over this test, or I'm going to surrender the complications of my marriage relationship or the burdens of the step family. I'm just going to surrender and just let the water carry it away and mother nature can just turn it into something beautiful for me and I'm just going to trust the process and every time you're able to like, recognize oh yeah, this is stressing me, I'm letting it go. And just that, five minutes of every day, just let it go. Let it go and it's almost like you put yourself in a higher perspective and you're not fighting those battles, you're letting go and allowing the universe to support you through them and things start al aligning. Like my hospice patients, the medications were arriving on time instead of having all these different complications with them, things just started working better.
Speaker 1:So I love that and that's like one of the hardest things right, like learning to let go it is so scary so it's so scary I think I let go sometimes.
Speaker 1:And then just recently I went through this experience. I paid for this coach and she did like this crazy sound healing and all this letting go. And she said this thing like I spent a lot of control with you and I was like I started crying hysterically. But she was so right and she's like what does it feel like to like think about letting that go? And I was like I don't even know what would contain it, contain me and it was just like the scariest thought on such a level. It's like I thought I had let go until she said that so it's so, it's so great to have like a tool to help you, Cause it's. I feel like life is learning to let go over and over again Sometimes, especially this like self-healing journey, it's like you think you get somewhere and then you learn that there's another layer to this and I have to learn to let go a little deeper frustrating right, it's like it's not doesn't necessarily get easier, but it does get better.
Speaker 2:So it definitely gets richer, it definitely gets deeper.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I love that. That's a great way to describe it. I love I read kind of in your in your book that you were inspired by Byron Katie Anybody else. That was a big inspiration to you.
Speaker 2:That's cool. Byron Katie that was. That was really huge. That was when my ex-husband was in prison from like 2001 to 2007. I listened to her audio book and it just helped me get real with the honesty of ourself. I would recommend her stuff to everyone.
Speaker 1:I'm about to read her book. One of my clients gave it to me as a gift. After we were done, she sent me the Loving what Is her newest book. I haven't started it yet, but it's like my next book to read. You actually made me dig it out and put it on top of my book list, like reading your book, Because I was like this is like the third person to mention that has mentioned her and someone sent me the book. I'm going to read it. So I put it on top.
Speaker 2:So it's going? Yeah, I would. There's so much like that on such a little micro, tiny level, every day. That was taking place while my ex was in prison of realigning myself with my own authenticity and truth that I think came from her work. I don't even like randomly, like look up YouTube videos of inner child work and maybe find like a five minute meditation and do it and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm bawling.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, I cannot. The first time I did an inner child meditation like I was skeptical. So also the first time someone told me to feel where an emotion was in your body, I thought they were crazy.
Speaker 1:I'm like what are you talking about, we don't feel emotions. Okay, totally my light years past that. But the first time I did the inner child one, I thought it was so stupid. But the minute I actually did it I felt this release on like a weird deep, like it was a huge, just a little like that hadn't felt before and I was like, oh my God, there's so much to comforting and going in and spending time with your inner child. It does healing on levels that is like really hard to my dog's escaping the room if you're watching the video, sorry but yeah, there's a lot to it I think my husband.
Speaker 2:Oh sorry, let me mute it so among other individuals that kind of inspired me on my path was Louise Hayes. I'd look up a lot of her stuff. She even had some meditations and she talks about, you know, emotions correlating with different parts of the body and it's just. It just feels like there's so much authenticity and truth within that. I agree we really do need to like tune in to our bodies and how we're feeling things, because it's telling us something.
Speaker 1:Agreed, I read this book. I don't know if I have it near me Because I can never remember. Yes, I have not. Okay, sorry, I read this book. Yes, I've got. Okay, sorry, I read this book, let me.
Speaker 1:It's called Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, and it's all about intuition and how, like you are a little micro computer and that sometimes those things fire faster than your brain can process things, and how your intuition, like he studies those, these little micro moments in people and how accurate they actually are. And so cool because you know we talk. I am like very into holistic and also like a little into what people would call like the woo-woo world. You know, like, because because I found truth in it when I practice those things, I found benefit in it, you know. And then this kind of is like a bridge between the two a little bit to me, because he takes the scientific method and proves like the accuracy of this. So I loved that because as a nurse I feel like I'm always like battling both worlds, a little bit of like I needed to be proved, I need to be like some scientific here, but also there's a lot we don't know. There's room to learn, room to grow.
Speaker 2:That's really cool. I think I need to read that book.
Speaker 1:I'll send it to you, okay. So I will put a link to your meditation. I love all this meditation talk too, because for me and it makes all the difference, like I think I've said before, I'm working the floor like as an ICU nurse. I don't even like go into work anymore without doing a breath work or a mindful or a meditation, just to be able to like calm my nervous system, because you can't listen to yourself if you're like spiraling, like tap in and figure out what you need. So I love that.
Speaker 2:You can't think critically if you're so under such stress. So learning to surrender and exist calmly in a chaotic world is critical to function. As you know, nurses and providers yeah.
Speaker 1:So I ask everyone this that comes on my show but what's your like go-to self-care when things get rough or the world gets difficult? What's your go-to to like? Bring yourself back to you um nature.
Speaker 2:That helps me a lot and exercise and a little bit of meditation. Yeah, I love that, that five minute meditation. There were times when I would just take that five minutes. Okay, I have a five minute break in between patients. I'm just gonna step aside and recenter myself and come back.
Speaker 1:Yes, there was another thing you said that I wanted to touch on too. Like I don't want to take it lightly, because I think there is a lot of power in this. You were talking about how much benefit is in when you are running like, how much you are getting out of it with, like stimulating both sides of your brain and all of that, like in the somatic world. And I mean even walking does the same thing. I think it's so cool. Like you know people always I wonder, like they say, like the runner's high that you get.
Speaker 1:But so my best friend and I we've been running partners for years on and off. We run like that most five miles, nothing crazy, no, no marathon runners here. But we run like a 5k pretty, pretty frequently and we always talk, we process our lives, we process what's going on and we have like that, we have this theory, you know, like this is really where it's at right, because something just cracks open when you're running. It's like you're able to process things easier. So I had this theory with her that we had talked about, and on my birthday we usually run like a 5k on our birthday and I got my husband to run it with us and he, he. We usually run like a 5k on our birthday and I got my husband to run it with us and he he's had like a very troubled past.
Speaker 1:He didn't talk about it a lot. You know, he's typical midwestern male. Probably could put a little more effort into his mental health at times. But so we go running and he's not a talker, he's a very big introvert. He has a lot of social anxiety. He starts cracking open while we're running and sharing things with her. I've never heard him say he just processing. And I'm like, oh my God, there's so much truth to that. So I actually do walking sessions with some of my clients. Now we'll either like put in headphones and walk together or I'll meet them and we'll walk and process stuff, because it's a totally different kind of session and experience. I feel like when you're moving, right, I didn't want to like go past that because I'm like you're so right, there's so much to that, just even walking every day and talking to somebody yeah, I do take lots of breaks um at work, like if there's a little bit of slow time and just go walk around the block.
Speaker 1:I'll do that sometimes in the stairwells, like I'll just like walk up and down the stairwells, like you know, especially if I'm like this is a rough day, I'm just gonna go off the stairwell see if I can't like burn some of this angst off. So I love that one. Okay, well, it's been such a pleasure having you, hannah. I absolutely love talking to you and catching up. I love being able to share your book. I really honestly, there's so much in this book we can't talk about it all. It's all not like. You know, it goes into detail about Hannah's childhood and then also just so many beautiful tips in here, warning signs, you know, beautiful things about women, the culture of women.
Speaker 1:It's such a beautifully feminine book of such a there's so much grace in writing about the heavy topics you wrote about and it's also so educational. I just feel like this book is so beautiful so I recommend it to anyone. Um, and you know with that show that just came out that everyone was obsessed with the like you know I'm talking about like it's like the TikTok girls, like the like there's like a height heightened interest in things. Um, lds right now with that you know that TikTok group that like people went crazy over the Mormon wives or whatever. I haven't watched it, but I've seen it like all over tv with like young people talking about there's like this show and I've seen like an uptick in it lately, so I think there's like this increased interest right now too. So like this is like a very interesting take on that.
Speaker 2:So and I mean I did design the book in a way like because it does get into so some heavy, deep things, and I wouldn't be surprised that if it triggers somebody, they just need to put the book down and come back to it later.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think you approached it very gently. I mean, I know people always get triggered, but I do want to give you so much credit for the gentleness of the way you approach these topics in here. I love that feedback. It's true, though I'm really impressed because, like you know, I I enjoy reading books about philosophy and so, like I'm used to that way people write and I will read those books a lot and I will try to share them with people I know and some people like I, just they're just written in a way that's hard for other people know and some people are like I, just they're just written in a way that's hard for other people to digest. That I think that's my like, little tism of the things that I hyper focus on and enjoy. So that's the things I can digest.
Speaker 1:But I feel like a lot of people when I want to share a book that has a great message. This may be a little like you probably would enjoy it because you enjoy psychology and all of that, but like you would get it. But other people I would share it with it would just be too hard for them to get into because of some of the language and the way it's written and the assumptions the book makes about your knowledge, and I feel like this book is not like that at all. Anyone could pick this book up and read it and really get an understanding, without feeling like they need to go look up what things mean. Do you know what I mean? Like that can be very intimidating in some books, and I feel like this book is not intimidating. This book touches some very heavy, deep topics in a very approachable way.
Speaker 2:And I really tried to write it that way that it was so simple that it would be very easy for someone to connect and relate to. I really tried to like how do I tap into this feeling and bring my reader with me, which I totally went with you?
Speaker 1:I was like tap into this feeling and bring my reader with me, which I totally went with you. I was like so into so much of this and I'm like, oh, yes, I love, like you know, yes, yes, yes, and then learning. So I thought it was great, just absolutely great, so I can't recommend it.
Speaker 2:I might even because I had so much feedback that people it's and I even had like a doctor tell me you should have two books. You need one book that's just your story and then you need one book that's the self-help part. And I wrestled with this, like this was the feedback of one of the beta readers and I'm like, oh, I see your point, but I'm not sharing my tea just to make money. I mean, there is that aspect to it. But if I'm going to be that vulnerable and put out my story, I'm only going to do it for the capacity of elevating myself, humanity, women who yeah, you- reach that like yeah, the the tea you get all of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's such hard things to share. Well, our culture likes to like what do you call that? Like gawk, or you know? Like we don't treat victims of things very nicely in the like entertainment world. When we cover a lot of subjects, um, we don't give like people the respect and the like, um, I don't know the. We don't give them the space, the safe space that people need around intense topics like this when we bring them into the light. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Even in the beginning of this, it was like I don't want to make you talk about any of this. You know that's not comfortable to you and I. You know what I mean. Even in the beginning of this, it was like I don't want to make you talk about any of this. You know that's not comfortable to you and I. You know what I mean. Like this is your personal thing, so I love, I think it's just so powerful to share it for this purpose. You know what I mean. If you want your story to be told, because that's healing for you in that way, by all means, but I can tell, talking to you about it. Like you're sure, when we started talking about. Your body language was different. It was like this isn't something you're comfortable sharing, you know, or talking about. These are deep, intense things that are not like just easily. Hey, let's, over lunch, talk about like the most deep aspects of your life that affect you. You know, like I don't, I share a lot of my stuff but I don't share, you know, there's a lot.
Speaker 2:So I get it. I think, like, as humans, like we're so curious at that part, like this particular doctor. He's like, so, like what did like the dishes look like, or you know, just the basic necessities of life, and so I'm like, oh, I guess that's a really good point. I guess I could like bring that alive a little bit on what that looks and feels like. Like how did 40 people share one bathroom?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, just on, like it from a, but that's also us just like. Yeah, a little bit selfish, right, but I get that because I'm like oh, how interesting. I do wonder now that you say that how did that happen?
Speaker 2:But I think I kind of painted a scene where there's like the 40 toothbrushes all in a line in the bathroom. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I did like add a few little things like that, and I don't know the more I think about it and all the feedback I'm getting. I may even just because I got a lot of feedback for an audible. So I'm going to start working on that. I just I'm not really sure like the technology part of it, like how do I bring that up? And I know Audible has one. Oh, you can use AI to convert it. And I'm like, yeah, I could do that, but if someone's going to read it, they're going to want my voice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would love to hear you say it, yeah.
Speaker 2:They're going to connect with me through the story. Yeah, I have to be the one that's reading it when it goes out there. Yeah, but I may break it up and do a version of the first part of the book, which is my story, which you know, surprisingly became a lengthier part after I got all that feedback from the beta readers. I just had to level that part up and then maybe another section like part two, or we'll see.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I guess it's like we seek to understand as humans. Right Like when I first moved to Utah, I read like I don't even know, four or five books, different kinds of books about like the LDS culture.
Speaker 2:So I was curious.
Speaker 1:I was like I didn't grow up in this, I don't know anything about it and I read some books about, like some of the fundamentalist groups and who knows. Even if the author was true to that, you know what I mean. But I was just curious. So I get that aspect of it too where you want to gock.
Speaker 2:So it's always like finding that fine line of, and religion is so interesting, right, and I think that there's a good place for so many different people in this world and I don't think that one religion has it all. I think that all religions have the potential to have that spiritual connection to a higher power. I think God's love is unconditional. He's not going to say, oh, this one is the only true one, like, would God really do that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, yeah. And it's interpreted by us, us flawed humans. Who knows what we're messing up? You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:But I think there's good intention in so many different religions. Yeah, bad people even in good religions, in so many different religions.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bad people even in good religions, I mean bad people prey on things like that intentionally. They prey on the good in people, so of course they'd seek out like religion and things like that where people are vulnerable, because that's what predators do they seek out people's vulnerabilities. That's why they don't prey on grown men. Grown men are not the victims very often Grown, you know what I mean, Because they're probably the hardest, they're not very easily victimized. So it's women, children, you know elderly people who are marginalized, people who are desperate. You know those are who monsters prey on.
Speaker 2:We could definitely step up helping females have their value and their worth known before they enter into relationships with males yes right like go somewhat challenge this culture where women are don't have a voice and don't speak up, and yeah I think it's a really critical part to step into that space of finding your value and your worth in who you are authentically before you move into a relationship oh yeah, because then that would just get confusing, right, because relationships play on your primary relationships, right?
Speaker 1:you're like playing out roles of your parents and all the things that could never be. They have to sort out before you can enter into it with someone else. Right, I mean, that still plays a role in my life nowadays. I still am sorting out things in therapy that come up for me. That happened as a kid. That is just like, oh yeah, I do that and I think about why I do that. I probably should think about why I do that a little more. Maybe that's not so healthy, maybe.
Speaker 2:I'll think about that as I do my next run, right?
Speaker 1:Right, we'll process that a little.
Speaker 2:How do I come at peace with this Right? So it is. How do I just be okay with it?
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, hannah, it's been such a blast talking to you and catching up and hearing about this like beautiful, this beautiful like light and message that you're sharing and how you're helping women. So if people wanted to get ahold of you and they're like, oh my gosh, hannah, you know either you are someone that could understand them or someone's really connecting with you or is interested in the program you're going to be starting, is there a way for them to get a hold of you or get in contact with you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, they can go to hannastoppercom and they can join my email group and, as things move forward, there'll be a lot more available, as I'm building it and I'm really excited about that and connecting with women to help empower them.
Speaker 1:Yay. So for now, buy her book. Give Yourself Permission. Overcoming Female Oppression. We'll put all these links in the show notes and then, when you get your program up and running, we'll have to have you on again. You can tell us all about it. So thank you so much for doing this.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me. Your podcast is really good. I think you're out there and helping a lot of people making differences.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you, and we'll see you next time. Okay, bye-bye.
